It’s been a while since my last post. Many life changing and emotional moments have occurred. The last few weeks have made me realise what is really important in my life. I will try and give a brief outline of what has happened since the 14th of August , up until now ... For my own sake really, to analyse and realise [again] that life is way to short ... You would think I would have learnt that by now considering what I’ve been through over the years ... Anyways, here goes ...

14/08 – Paki day [or night rather ] turned out better than I expected. Granted, as the night grew darker it became colder but it was so worth it. This year attracted many more Pakistani’s than ever before. All watching the firework display, dancing, eating, singing, mingling etc .... What fun! This day also gives me a chance to catch up with my ‘handful’ of Paki mates that I have – it’s like an annual gathering, reminiscing about the good old days. Anyhoo, members of my family were also present as was my cousin sister, S [ yes, I know I have mentioned her a few times in my previous post ]. Unfortunately we did not say a single word to each other during the duration of the evening [even though by the end of the week she would be officially married and leaving everyone to begin her new life miles away ]. Imagine, exactly a year ago on this very night we were so close, ‘thick as thieves’ as they saying goes and having a ball ... How things have changed.

15/08 – The day of the ‘official Mehndi’. Right up until the very last second, I was adamant that I really did not want attend, but I am glad that I did. At first I stayed away from the limelight, preferring to mingle with the many auntie ji’s who attended [ and believe me nothing is worse than being prodded, poked, covered in kisses etc .... all evening by auntie ji’s that haven’t seen you for a while – why is it when you spend ages on doing your hair, that’s the first place they touch and practically wreck?? lol ]. Anyways, it wasn’t until much later when things changed, for the better. Seeing S sob her eyes out on stage [ and everyone else doing the same in the process ], broke my heart. She later told me that not only had it finally hit her that she was getting married and leaving home but also because certain family members who are not alive where not there to join in ... it’s really heart breaking, hey? So in front of my whole family [ who were aware of the friction between us ], the many guest, the DJ’s and the random guys who were there but really shouldn’t have been ... Where did they come from?? I approached S. Immediately our eyes met, we smiled and I shook her hand. Both of us thinking how silly this was, we then hugged. That’s when it happened. Months of ‘bickering’ came down to this moment – during the duration of the hug we apologised to each other and then she utter the words ‘I have missed you so much’ in my ear. That pretty much set us both of ... crying our hearts out. I guess we both knew and realised 2 things ... That we would never be as close as we used to be when growing up and that we would rarely see each other again. The rest of the night went smoothly and finished some time early morning [ Glad I had the day off from work that morning!! ].

17th-20th – During these nights was basically a gathering for family members at S’s place where we would dance, sing, eat .... The night away. I was the only one who did not attend each night; instead I opted in going the night before the wedding day. It was fun! Watching my cousins doing the bhangra and my nanni [ of all people ] showing off her moves was hilarious – Glad we all captured that moment all our mobile phones, digital camera, & camcorder! Also I love playing the dhol. One of the Paki things that I can actually do! Many ask me where someone like me who is the least Desi-est than everyone else, learnt how to play the dhol!! What can I say?? It’s a gift! lol. The night did not end until 4am. We all had a few hours sleep until we had to get ready for the wedding!

21st – Wedding day. Felt like absolute crap ... As one does at a certain time of the month ... if you get my drift ... Anyways it was a fun and emotional day. For some stupid reason I missed the Nikkah - don’t even remember where I was at that precise moment but will regret not witnessing it. The Rukhsati was a killer! Not a dry eye left in the building. Anyways, I do wish S & A all the luck. I am extremely happy for them both and glad that we put whatever ‘differences’ we had behind us. Roll on the Walima ....

At one point during the wedding, I actually had to leave the building due to sheer frustration and hoping I wouldn’t loose my temper! Why? ... Let’s just say if I was given £1 each time a auntie ji or uncle ji said to me... “ .. Beta, inshallah next wedding we'll all be attending will be yours ...“, I’d be frigging rich! That’s only so much a gyal can take!

That is all for now. I don’t give two hoots if no one is reading this – I had to write about it someplace ... just to get it off my chest ... I thought why not here ... After all one of the main reason to blog is about posting of the daily ‘going-on’s’ in your lives. I do however promise no more family stuff posting [ not for a while anyways! – Promise ].

Bye.

I am looking forward to later tonight for the annual gathering of all the Pakistani in my area - getting together and ... well having a lot of fun ... yaar! Later this evening a huge firework display will be lighting our skies in my local park. I don’t normally go but this year, why not?

Not done much today part from shopping and getting my hair done [got it cut & some groovy looking highlights!! ]

Anyways enjoy the new video from Evanescence .... Now that it has been officially released! [ The guy is gorgeous!! ]


[ Removed - Check youtube.com if you wana see it ]

I am supposed to be on my hols this week and was looking forward to doing absolutely fuck all for 2 whole weeks - but in reality it doesn’t always pan out like you want it .... I can dream hey?

The way my first week has gone, believe me, I’d rather be at work! Why is it when we have a family wedding - my family decides this is the right time to have a huge fight and make it difficult for anyone to actually enjoy it ... you know, like other normal Pakistani families do!

The same happened at my Bro’s wedding in November and unfortunately we’re still trying to ‘get over’ that whole incident. It was the first family wedding in our small family but we didn’t really get to enjoy as much as we should have. In fact I spend most of it fighting, lashing out & pouring my eyes out! ARGHHHH! And when I say ‘the family fighting’ – I actually mean the women! Jeez ... we can be cruel when we want to be! At first the guys were so oblivious to the whole thing but I’m pretty sure that now there are just staying out of our way ... good move ....

I while ago in my previous post I wrote about how my cousin sister’s wedding was coming up and how I was so adamant that I was in no bloody way going? Well the wedding is next Sunday .... & I am going. Why?? Let’s just say when your own nanni gets involved and practically begs me [ throw in some heavy duty emotional blackmail as well ] to came to this impending wedding – I mean than there is no way I can not go .... Reluctantly I agreed [ mind you, I had some conditions which my beloved nanni ‘ok-ed’ ... these conditions being I’ll go but I don’t want to be a part or be involved in the supposedly wedding of the year! ].

Also I decided I had to start listening to my own advice – I mean I can dish out advice but when I don’t follow what I ‘preach’ than I’m being a big old hypocritical biaatch, hey? However ‘going’ to this wedding doesn’t mean that I have forgotten or forgiven the reason of why my cousin sister and me fell out in the first place.

So wedding this week and I have fuck all to wear! I need like a million outfits and that’s even before the actual wedding! The Mehndi itself goes on for over a week. But the REAL Mehndi day is on Wednesday. I discovered during my bro’s wedding that going shopping for traditional clothing is a bleeding nightmare – I hate it!! Then to top that off once you have found the ‘perfect’ Langaa [ one with a skirt typy thingy – you get my drift ] - you need to find the ‘perfect’ accessories … handbag, high heels, earrings, necklace, bindi etc etc ... *HELP*

So much to do and find and yet so little time [ hmmm that’s why I’m sitting here on a Sunday afternoon typing on blogg ...(!) Shows how much I soooo want to go .... ]

This week will be pretty much the same as the last ... Going from one shop to another looking and trying stuff on, more hassle ... but I will be so glad when the whole damn thing will be finally over.

I do moan & go on a bit too much, don’t I?? Sorry ... as usual I am venting my frustration.

On my final note I must just say ... these family arguments would not ever have even dare to occur if 2 individuals where still alive today. Believe me the 2 of them would have smacked all of us round the ear and told each and everyone of us to ‘grow up’ ..... So why cant we do that without them ...

So … Been tagged by Jerzee … Here goes ….

Three things I would wish for if I had 3 wishes:
1) Turning back time to re-do certain things in my life
2) Stay 21 years old forever! [Btw I am *ahem* 21 yrs old … if anyone’s interested!]
3) Being a bit more taller!

Three things I can never forget:
1) The time I drank alcohol by mistake – twice! [Long story!]
2) Getting lost in Pakistan when I was 8 years old. I’d just got myself a bike as a present; thought it would be cool to ride it outside the Courtee [big house] & end up on a busy highway … there’s me enjoying myself whilst my poor frantic parents sent out a search party! Safe to say my folks were beside themselves!
3) My first love … awwww!

Three things (materialistic) I can't live without:
1) Mini Disc
2) Mobile Phone(s)
3) My PC

Three people I talk to everyday:
1) *D*
2) Good friends
3) errmmmm … Myself! That count??

That was fun!!

So ….. the three people I tag are [sorry peeps, can’t be arsed to add a link!]:
1) Enyur
2) Seabrooks
3) Toast Tea with Ghee

Good luck guys!

Finally the new long – waited single from the one and only Evanescence ...

... Not everyone’s cup of tea but it's definitely mine.

I’ve been a fan for a while and cannot wait until the new album is released in October!

The new video has been ‘unofficially released’ on youtube.com. I managed to see it before it was removed and I must say – Amy Lee is looking HOT in the new vid, [ the guy is pretty cute also! ].

Roll on October ... :-)

PS – The title of the song is usually what I would say to *D* practically each day!! I luv ya really (“,)

Received the following in an e-mail ... So true, don’t you think?

Life cycle is all backwards. You should start out dead
and get it out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink whatever you want, you party, go to college and get ready for School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm.

Hmmmmmmm ...... Happy Birthday to me ... (!)





Btw, what the bleedin' hell is going on with Stickham?? I cannot upload my new tracks!! Anyone else having any probs or is it just me?!